Learning to NOT Google My Highschool Sweetheart

Eewww. Ick. Bad. Why did I do this? Well, I actually know why I did this. I had a very bizarre dream about my highschool boyfriend the other night. And he popped up in a place I wouldn't have expected him to be. And he was very, VERY prominent. And in the dream, I was very much into him, again, after all these years. So of course a curious gal like me is going to google him. It wasn't pretty. He was the winner of some fish derby contest in some tiny little hick town. He was fat. I barely recognized him. And he wore tiny little round glasses, which were all wrong for him, and only made his face look fatter. How did this happen to a guy I was so totally ready to marry when I was 17? And 18. And then later, after I broke up with him (for being too boring) and then realized I had dumped probably the only decent guy in a 300 mile radius, we got back together, and then I screwed it up again. AGAIN. And for the same reason. Boredom. But the thing is, at the time, this guy was so amazing for me. He balanced me out. He made my laugh. He was an amazing kisser. Sometimes I feel like I have been searching my entire life, since I broke up with my highschool boyfriend, to find someone just like him. Nice like him, And why is there a fruit fly climbing around my screen?? I hate fruit flies. But who the hell knows what this guy is like now. I've actually heard a bit of gossip about him. But he lives in this crazy tiny hick town, and I think maybe he isn't single anymore (divorce followed by quick set-up) and anyways, I know we wouldn't have a thing in common anymore. But then, why was he featured so prominently in my dream? So weird. Shane, wherever you are, I want you to know that you still rate a 10 on my best boyfriends ever list. And even though I'm not a huge fishing derby kind of gal, and the town you live in holds no joy for me, I want you to know that someone who used to love you, still thinks about that love know and then. And I really hope that you are happy, whatever you are doing, and whomever you are with. Because you will always remain, at least to me, the most decent guy on the planet. And I feel totally embarrassed that we had a Richard Marx song as "our song" Sooooooo very embarrassed.