Learning to Turn 38

38. It's just so close to 40. I know, I really know, that you are only as old as you feel. The problem is, I feel like I am something like 19 half of the time. I don't know why. I just do. I know I have gained a great deal of knowledge and experience, and that, at 19, I was an ungodly mess. However, there is still a very big part of me that is perpetually 19. And I'm still not sure if this is a positive thing, or a negative thing. I honestly don't know. So we will see what my birthday brings to me, tomorrow. I had an excellent weekend away shopping. Much silliness, much shopping, much giggling. It's not that 40 is scaring me, it's that 40 is scaring the bejeezuz out of me. That's what it is. I don't know why I am fearing it so much. It's only a number, blah blah. I get it. And it's two whole years away. But somehow, it means something, something significant. I don't want it to, but it does. And all I know is that I need to get a certain amount of things accomplished before I turn 40. I'm not exactly sure what those things are specifically, but I know they exist. And finding out what these things are, and then executing a solid plan to be sure these things end up getting DONE, is my plan for the next two years. For now, for this birthday, I can say this: I have an amazing, beautiful, intelligent, creative daughter, that I grew in my own tummy, and i love her to death. I have a really great job, one that I love, and one that makes a difference in the world. I have my own fabulous house, an adorable and perfect puppy, a delightful cat, and family and friends that absolutely go above and beyond for me, at every turn. I have talent, I have tenacity, and I have love in my life. I am one lucky lady. And I know it. And I am going to kick 38's ass. This will be a stellar year. I can feel it in my bones. Happy birthday to me!