Learning to Date

Happy Valentines Day, People

I have done the unthinkable. I am meeting a lovely young man for a (gasp) date tomorrow night, which is, as you know, Valentines Day. I believe I have mentioned in previous blogs that I have been chatting with a younger (28!!) guy who I've really enjoyed getting to know. I had many reservations about meeting him for a while, but that was mainly to do with my state of mind. I knew I wasn't over my ex and I didn't want to mess anything up (or anyone, for that matter). Lately we've been chatting more and more frequently, loads of text messages, and I really feel like I know a lot about him, and the kind of guy he is. Of course there is always the chance that it is all bullshit....but I doubt that. There is something about this guy that I really like. There is an honesty about him. And there is integrity. He seems very sweet. Also, he has some seriously gorgeous eyes, and crazy long eyelashes. I'm a sucker for eyes.

So now I am crazy excited and crazy nervous. I haven't been on a real date in over a decade. A DECADE!! That is just nuts. I have no idea how this is going to go down. Expectations are high, on both ends. I'm afraid of two things at this point. One: there will be instant attraction, crazy attraction, and it will overpower me. That is a fear. Two: What if one of us hates something about the other one right away? We both have these high hopes. How does one handle that? I just don't know how to approach this shit. I want to be optimistic (it is my nature, after all, although I'm sure that is NOT apparent in this blog) but I'm terrified of what might happen. BUT: This is good. All of this is good. Because honestly, the fact that I have NOT been grieving my ex at all lately is such a great thing. He came by two weeks ago to pick up a letter. It felt weird, but there was no part of me that wanted to throw him up against the wall and kiss him for three days. And that, my friends, is progress!

As an aside...I've been corresponding with an equally young (no, younger I think!!) man that I met last year marking literacy tests in Toronto. I like him. Something clicked with us, I think, whatever that means. But I really enjoy talking to him. We have had a few marathon chats on facebook. I don't know what that means, for sure, but I am glad that we met and I think we will remain friends for a long time. At least I hope we will. I do enjoy our conversations.

So I will let you all know how it goes down on my date. I will give you all of the dirt. The good, the bad, and the ugly. This is my promise to you. I am reporting from the trenches, now, people. Buckle up.