Friday, November 19, 2010

Day Eleven: I Comfort-Eat

I know that you can't eat your blues away.  But sometimes, isn't it fun to try?  Today I tried with perogies, lasagne, macaroni casserole, veggie pizza, bruschetta, and edemame salad.  It hasn't made me a happier person, but it sure was enjoyable.  And just so you know, it was a pot-luck situation.  I did not sit down to entire meals of lasagne and meatballs.  So now I am slightly bloated, tired, and still angry.  But I'm not as angry as I was yesterday.  I call that progress.

I've been having horrible nightmares.  Most of them involve either my ex or some stranger trying to break into my house.  The theme of each of these dreams is fear.  Sometimes he gets in and chases me, sometimes I call the police and they arrest him, and sometimes he just stays out there, pounding on the door and shouting.  These are not the dreams I wish to be having.  I wake up feeling so unsettled, nervous, even afraid.  I'm never sure at first whether anything has actually happened.  Very terrible.

A remarkably annoying "motivational" speaker talked to us about replenishing our energy today.  She told us that when we are feeling over-tired, we should get more sleep.  Genius.  Thank god we have motivational speakers to help us understand these complexities.   She also compared energy to marbles and had a thing about people turning their heads instead of their chairs to face her.  If you've got a group of people you would like to suck the will to live out of, I highly suggest you book her.  Just make sure you turn your chair the right way.

Think I will cuddle up with my cherub-like daughter and call it a night.  "It's a night!"  More tomorrow.

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